Welcome back to the FFS Blog it has been way to long since I wrote any new posts. Like all good writers I was gaining experience, the more you learn the less you think you know. At times I get inspired only to let that inspiration dim, let the opportunity pass me by missing out on fun, missing out on the success, losing sight of the great journey we call life or more importantly the lessons life holds. Get lost in the wonder of exploration your hand at something new or an old past time can be exhilarating, inspirational and fucking fun! The failure lies in not trying, but rather in letting the siege of self doubt hold you back from your dreams. We have all had feelings of self doubt, self pity, thinking that a task or goal is to much or maybe impossible. An experienced backpacker laying out the logistics for their latest adventure he or she may be looking at the peak of the mountain range thinking how will I get there. Am I up to the task? Only to have that feeling return emphatically when they have the mountain within eye shot. I was thinking two or three months ago about this very issue a number of valuable questions arose:
-How I can attack the issue of self doubt head on?
-If that does not work what flanking maneuvers can I utilize to accomplish my goals?
-How do we make success a repeatable system?
-What can I do to challenge myself in all areas of my life?
-Can I get ready for a half marathon in two months?
-What about working on an advanced certification in sports performance?
-Can you work on yourself while growing a business?
This begged further questions that needed to be answered mainly what does it take to overcome self doubt? How can these feelings of doubt be adapted to chasing our goal down? Self doubt has been a road block for me as of late, but this was not always the case. A few years ago I guess you could have called me cocky or foolish take your pick. Maybe I was flat out confident in my abilities, as I felt that whatever I put my mind to I could accomplish. This feeling arose out of being challenged with an obstacle or two only to rise above or adapting to the obstacles in my path. My money is on the latter. Unfortunately as of late this has not been the case as their have been plenty of setbacks and loses. We will be looking at a few key areas that can create a time of self doubt in everyone such as self criticism, lack of inspiration, tackling tasks alone, and the underlying causes for self doubt. As well as eight ways in which these areas can be addressed.
Its Monday morning your in the bathroom brushing your teeth outside the window your hear a muffled sound of someone talking to you. Opening the window, What did you say? You suck!You're a bum and your breathe stinks! No morning coffee, but this is happening again this is the third time in as many weeks. I have a tough enough time believing in myself without feeling like an out and out fraud. During the weekly sales meetings when I give my reports I expect to be outed for not knowing what I am doing or not deserving my job. Many of you would not take remarks deriding your performance or abilities in your jobs from someone else. What comes to mind for me are the commercials where Peyton Manning is imitating a belligerent fan, yelling at people in a normal job. Many of us walk around on a cloud of doubt and feeling like a fraud a phony or a fake without Joe from Fox Lane tweeting about our performance on his fantasy team. Conor Mcgregor is a world famous combat athlete competing in MMA and Boxing both sports where if you take self doubt into the ring you will have a short night and a shorter career. The level of belief it takes to compete in combat athletics is staggering, let alone to challenge someone considered the greatest defensive boxer of all time. Everyone has an opinion on Mcgregor’s antics, his way of selling fights, his persona. Let me steal his line Who the Fook is this guy? He is a fighter who early in his career he had nothing he was on the dole. All he did was train in a country known for boxing not MMA. It was not until recently he started to train in America. In eight years with hard work, will, determination and a crazy belief in himself he is a two division champion in the UFC. Watch this video about his self belief.Conor Post Fight Video On top of all that he just fought Floyd Mayweather an impossible fight they said, he had no chance they said. In essence all he thought was fuck what you say I know what I can do, I know who I am.
Some people write down their goals on a daily, weekly, monthly and or quarterly basis on a phone, a tablet, a notebook, and or computer. Keep them in one location not in all four places. Successful people break down goals to manageable steps so its digestible. What do your goals look like? Do they wake you up at night? Scare the shit out of you? It should scare you on some level so as to encourage you move towards the goal. In the Four hour work week Tim Ferris spoke about having a big enough goal something that inspires you to attack it every day. This means you will need to be sure you have the right goals leading you in the direction of the main goal. Are the steps leading you to where you need to be? Do the steps allow you to win along the way? So that winning on a larger stage feels natural. If you look at some training plans for 10k’s and or Half Marathons they will have one or two 5k or 10k races in there. So you have success on a smaller stage to build you up. What is my part in this story? My question was, can you get ready for a half marathon in eight weeks? Am I willing to put the work in to get there? Looking at my goal I developed a plan with steps that take me on my journey winning step by step, mile by mile until its completed. Things had to be different this time no wavering we have to have a full commitment. It was my job to get my miles in, to take care of my body as well as to make adjustments as we went. During the long runs if I had hills I faded, until the adjustment was made in my training and in my mindset. I let some of the people who I work with who are endurance athletes my plan creating a community.
8 ways to overcome self doubt
- Community Create a community around your goals this community should have mentors as well as people that have the same or similar goals in mind. Your will be able to draw from a well of shared experiences bounce ideas off of one another and create a personalized playbook for achievement.
- Inspiration Is the goal big enough to get you out of bed early? We need to find that dream or idea that really gets us going, something that will stoke that fire on a daily basis. What would you do for the love or the passion? What can you not do with you time? Or would you do for free? Its that level of passion and desire that is needed here.
- Dealing with the underlying cause of self doubt This may be the toughest one to deal with. The harsh reality is it could or should be number one, today it’s batting in the three hole. We will need to employ a number methods to address the underlying causes of self doubt. One is to dig in on what they are, where they originate and actively manage our behavior patterns going forward. A common cause is comparing yourself to others; Why do you think horses wear blinders? The truth is you're only competing with yourself.
- Release Self Criticism ie shut that voice in your head up. Think about all of the negative thoughts you have on repeat as pigeons. Round up all of those troublesome pigeons of doubt in that coop you call a brain. Lets release them into the wild, relieve ourselves of the doubts burden. Unshackle your mind so you can sore to the levels you need to reach.
- Work, Work, Work leave it all out on the “field” out work you self doubts. Put in an absurd amount of work so there cannot even be a shadow of a doubt that your ready. Know your craft forwards, backwards and sideways. When Steve Spurrier was the head coach of the Redskins he laughed at the coaches who worked the crazy hours. At that point it was all over but the shouting, it was a new role in a new league he simply did not know his craft nor was he willing to earn it.
- Play Small Ball or pull a Michael Jordan/Lebron James; Why are your talking about crying Jordan? Yes I am talking about the GOAT in an article touching self doubt….. Think about the fact that Jordan or a long retired Lebron could come back and score at least 20 points 5 free throws from fouls, four jump shots, and three three point shots at minimum. They know how to play small ball keep adjusting their shots out until they find a rhythm.
- Self Care in order to reach my goal what type of man/woman do I have to become to complete my journey? What do I need to sustain myself? On a daily, weekly or monthly basis that allow me to keep moving forward? You will have to be selfish here looking out for your own best interest. This is very challenging especially in the light of self doubt.
- Celebrate your successes this is of maximum importance it possibly could fall under self care. Many doubters fall into the trap of Imposter Syndrome. This is where individuals have the inability to internalize their accomplishments with an intermittent feeling of being found as a fraud. When you celebrate your successes you take the power from imposter syndrome. They can be small or large a win is a win; no one take that away from you don’t steal it from yourself.
I used the eight ways to overcome self doubt with this goal worked and it worked well. During the taper phase of my training and injury snagged me on the day I was to pick up my race swag making it tough to walk let alone run. I was not going to be deterred, I sought out treatment in the days before the race but still was limping. Against the better judgment of professionals I attempted the 13.1 mile race. Around mile 7 I could not move my quads and my hamstring was about to pop, my plan was to walk the hills and run the straight aways. Luckily cooler heads prevailed. While I did not finish the half marathon I never quit, self doubt did not take hold on that day. One of the reasons was my main inspiration to be disciplined in my actions and my intent in this endeavor. A true inspiration to me has been my father who has dealt with many serious health issues of the past years and honestly has been winning. He has been pushing forward through sheer will a relentless will in himself day by day, issue after issue. The newest issue he is facing has no guarantee he will walk again. Do you think self doubt has crept into his mind? That I can guarantee it has, but the trick is it does not stop him. This has been a very personal article for me to write revealing a lot to you. My hope in writing it is that it helps you to see striving forward chasing your dreams down.
